Wednesday, 24 September 2014

ANZAC Recount Success Criteria

The Death Zone

It’s 2 a.m in the morning of April 25th 1915. I was scared. My knees were shaking. So was all of my friends. I was sitting the middle of the landing boat. I was holding my gun like it was the last bit of food in the world.

Suddenly my friend Perez got shot in the head.  His brains splattered all over the landing boat and me. I whispered to goodbye to my  mate.

Then I heard a bullet fly past my head and hit my other  friend in the chest. Then BOOM”.  Hundreds of bullets come flying around our boat. I felt a sharp pain in my right arm. I grabbed my gun and started shooting.I was about to enter the Death Zone.By Denzel

I am learning to write an interesting recount.

I am so proud of making my recount interesting by using similes and adjectives.
It can be tricky to write in past tense.
My buddy can help me by checking my work.
The next step for me in my learning is to find an interesting topic for me to write about.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is a very descriptive recount. You have chosen your words carefully to add tension to your story. I like your use of short sentences. Good Job !